


we don't need a legacy

by holdontoyourhulahoops



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, oikawa's leg injury, space nerd oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 16:46:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6017085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holdontoyourhulahoops/pseuds/holdontoyourhulahoops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa's hopes of a career in volleyball may be over, but his life certainly isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we don't need a legacy

For as long as Iwaizumi has known him, he’s never questioned the fact that Oikawa would amount to something someday. When they were eleven-years-old, and Oikawa had announced to him he’d one day be the greatest setter in all of Japan, Iwaizumi never saw any reason to doubt him.

Oikawa’s like that.  He may be reckless and insecure, but once he puts his mind to something, there’s no dragging him back.

Iwaizumi’s learned that the hard way more than once.

Still, sometimes, no matter how hard Oikawa fights and claws his way toward his goal, fate has to step in.  Even with all of Oikawa’s ambition, there’s not much he can do when his body gives out on him.

It happens gradually.  There’s no single dramatic moment where everything blows up in their faces.  No, it’s agonizing months of watching him go to frequent doctors appointments, struggling through hours upon hours of rehab just to get his knee back into playing shape, only to have it all crash down again a few weeks later.

By the time his doctor finally says it; says Oikawa will probably have knee problems all his life, that even with another surgery he’ll be lucky if he can ever _play_ volleyball again, let alone professionally, it doesn’t really come as a surprise to either of them.

Oikawa doesn’t cry like Iwaizumi expected him to. He just nods mutely, as if he’s long since resigned himself to this fate, and plasters on a fake smile.

It would be so much easier if he’d just broken down.  Iwaizumi knows how to deal with that.  

What he doesn’t know how to deal are these repeated hollow promises that he’s _fine_ ; having him shurg away whenever he tries to reach out.

“You worry too much, Iwa-chan,” he says, even as he seems to float through their apartment in silence, a ghost of his usual self.  Iwaizumi feels helpless.  He’s not used to walking eggshells around Oikawa.

He worries his bottom lip between his teeth as he watches Oikawa robotically telling his teammates how ‘he’ll be fine, these things happen’.  The false smiles that accompanies these statements are even worse.

Still, as much as Iwaizumi's become an expert in all things Oikawa Tooru over the years, there seems to be nothing he can do to make anything better.

It’s a Tuesday night when he stumbles into their apartment to find Oikawa sitting on the couch with his eyes glazed over, a volleyball hugged to his chest.  His face is blotchy and white, like maybe he had been crying at some point. Their TV is turned on to reruns of the national team’s latest game.  Iwaizumi can’t tell if Oikawa’s paying any attention to it, or even if he registers his presence at all.

“Tooru.”

Oikawa snaps to attention at the sound of his given name, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

“Huh?”

“We’re going out,” Iwaizumi replies, without any explanation.

Oikawa just blinks at him, emotionless.  “I have to finish my physics homework.”

“Yeah, because you’re clearly working on it now,” Iwaizumi grumbles, and turns the TV off with a frustrated huff.  “Get up.  We’re going.”

“Hajime…” Oikawa says carefully.  “Don’t-”

Iwaizumi ignores him, grabbing hold of his wrist to pull him to his feet.  “You’ve hardly left the apartment in days.  We’re going out.”

Any further protests die in Oikawa’s throat, and he only lets out a stuttered breath as Iwaizumi helps him limp to the door, expression unreadable.

Oikawa slides into the passenger seat of Iwaizumi’s old pickup truck without a word, and leans his cheek against the window.  Iwaizumi stares at him for a few seconds, before turning the keys to start the ignition.

Neither speaks throughout the drive.  At some point, Oikawa falls asleep, or at least he pretends.  Iwaizumi finds himself watching him out of the corner of his eyes, but then catches himself and quickly snaps his attention back to the road, squaring his shoulders.

It’s nearly two hours before Iwaizumi shakes Oikawa awake, with a gentle hand on his shoulder.  

“Hey, we’re here,” he whispers.

Grumbling, Oikawa squints an eye open to peer out the window. “Where…?” he murmurs.  It’s a genuine question, considering Iwaizumi had just decided to pull off road in the middle of nowhere.

“I don’t know,” he replies honestly, and then kicks open the door. “But come on.”

“Iwa-chan, what’s going on?”

Iwaizumi tugs the passenger door open, and gently pulls him out by the hand.  “Come on.”

“So pushy…” Oikawa mumbles.  He glances around in the darkness, mouth falling into a slight pout.  

“Come on,” Iwaizumi leads him forward, before stopping in front of his car.  “I’ll give you a boost.  Don’t bump your knee.”

“Hajime…?”

Again, Iwaizumi doesn’t stop to explain.  He hauls Oikawa onto the hood before climbing up after him and leaning back against the window.  

“Hajime, seriously,” Oikawa presses, sounding just a tad exasperated.

Iwaizumi lets out a soft breath, folding his hands in his lap.  

“Look… I’m worried...” he admits, voice small.

Oikawa’s brows furrow, but Iwaizumi carries on speaking before he can cut in, slightly desperate.  “We have to talk about this.  I can’t stand another day of you trying to pretend everything's okay and brushing me off whenever I try to say anything.”

A second passes, as Oikawa gazes at him in silence, mouth half open.  He doesn’t bother to deny the accusation, just rolls onto his side to hide his face.  “We could have had this conversation at home, y’know…”

“I thought…” Iwaizumi glances down at his hands, suddenly embarrassed.  “...you might be able to see the stars better out here…”

There’s the sound of Oikawa drawing in a hitched breath before he whips around to stare at Iwaizumi in disbelief.  “Iwa-chan, that’s…”  His voice catches, and he sniffles loudly.  “...Since when have you been so romantic…?” He tries to maintain the normal teasing lilt, but it melts away, and soon his shoulders are shaking with silent sobs, big tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Hey, come here,” Iwaizumi whispers, and Oikawa seems to crumble into his arms.  Iwaizumi rubs soothing circles into his shoulders, squeezing him close.  “I’m here.”

Trembling, Oikawa digs his hands into the back of Iwaizumi’s t-shirt.  “It just… it really sucks…” he bites out in frustration, words he’s been holding in for weeks suddenly bubbling to the surface.  “I did everything I could and-” His breath stutters, warm against Iwaizumi’s neck.  “-it still wasn’t enough, all of that was for nothing, no matter what I do-”

“Hey-” Iwaizumi draws back a little, so he can see the other’s face.  “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know that!” Oikawa snaps back, balling his hands into fists.

“Do you really?”

This time, Oikawa doesn’t reply instantly.  He sits up, wiping his face with the back of his arm.  “It doesn’t matter now.”

Lips pursed, Iwaizumi reaches out to brush Oikawa’s hands away.  He cups his face, staring into his eyes.  “You dumbass.  Of course it matters.  Don’t go thinking your life is over just because-”

“I don’t!”

Iwaizumi lifts an eyebrow at him, and Oikawa slumps, glancing down.  “I just… I spent so long focused on being the best I...I don’t really know what to do with myself...”  He sniffles, squeezing his eyes shut.

Iwaizumi exhales loudly.  “We’ll figure it out,” he assures, because there’s not much else he can say.  No one recovers from heartbreak like this in only a few days. Still, he has no doubt Oikawa will be okay eventually. He has to be.

Frowning, Iwaizumi drags his thumb down Oikawa’s cheek soothingly.  “But you don’t have to worry about this alone.”

Oikawa’s bottom lip trembles, but he manages to bite down on it before he can break down in tears again.  “When you talk like that, it’s kind of hard not to believe you, Hajime…”

A shooting star passes overhead, though neither of them notice.  Iwaizumi allows his shoulders to drop in silent relief.  Oikawa still looks miserable, but anything is better than him stumbling robotically through life as if nothing matters to him anymore.

He cups Oikawa’s face, staring into his eyes.  “If it makes you feel better, I think you would still make a pretty good alien hunter…”

Oikawa’s cheeks puff out in surprise, mouth falling slightly open.  “I was _six_ , Iwa-chan!”

“It would still suit you.”

“You’re the one who said you wanted to go and ‘live among the beetles.’  That’s not even an actual career path!”

“Yeah, well, it still doesn’t sound that bad…” Iwaizumi says, mouth quirking up in amusement.  He draws away so he can lean back against the front of his truck.  

“So you wouldn’t have to deal with me, right?” Oikawa asks.  While his tone is jesting, the words are shaky, like there’s something more to it than his teasing tone would imply.

It would be so easy to rise to the bait.  On any other day Iwaizumi might, but instead he huffs and reaches out to grasp Oikawa’s hand.

“Nah, we’ll just have to find someplace with both beetles and aliens, won’t we?”

Oikawa’s eyes widen a little, and he lets out a watery laugh.  “I guess so.”  He drops his head onto Iwaizumi’s shoulder, breathing out softly.  “You’re such a dork, Iwa-chan.”

“Takes one to know one.”

Oikawa snorts, and wipes his eyes on the back of his wrist.

They lay together for a few minutes, just gazing up at the sky in silence.  It’s similar to all those nights they spent together as kids, though that usually involved Oikawa pointing out every constellation while Iwaizumi pretended to follow along, listening to him speculate on the potential lifeforms that may live in each star and galaxy.  It used to kind of annoy Iwaizumi, but now he can only look back on it fondly.

“Say, which one is Ursa Majoris?” he asks, voice sounding unnaturally loud in the silence of the night.

“It’s Ursa Major, Iwa-chan.”

“Whatever. That’s the bear, right? I could always sort of find that one.”

Oikawa snickers, turning so that his face is buried in the side of Iwaizumi’s neck.  “We both know you’ve always been hopeless at star-gazing.”

“So help me.”

There’s another few seconds before Oikawa moves, shifting so he can get a better view of the sky.  When Iwaizumi glances at him, he finds him smiling, like he hasn’t in months, wide and genuine, with that excited sparkle he always gets in his eyes right before he starts rambling off about space.  “It’s not a good time to that one, we’d have to wait till a little later.  But Andromeda is right overhead right now.  And if you squint, it should be dark enough to see the Andromeda Galaxy.  That’s always cool to see, right?  A whole nother galaxy.  Imagine what might be out there.”

“Mmmm…” Iwaizumi agrees, with a slight nod.  Oikawa starts off on a detailed list of all the steps of where to look in order to find the galaxy he’d mentioned, but Iwaizumi quickly gets lost, as he always does.

Instead, his eyes shift to Oikawa’s face, taking in the hint of childish wonder in his expression as he lists off random facts about each star he mentions.

“Iwa-chan, you can’t see Andromeda if you’re looking at me,” Oikawa mumbles, upon catching Iwaizumi staring at him out of the corner of his eyes.

Iwaizumi blinks at him, not looking the least bit guilty.  “Sorry…”

And Oikawa just blinks back, expression shifting to something more reflective.  “You were never any good at this…” he sighs.  

“It’s nice, though.”

After a moment, Oikawa nuzzles into his side, letting out a long breath.  “Yeah,” he agrees, in a soft voice.

Iwaizumi snakes his arm out to wrap around Oikawa’s back, pulling him closer. 

“Hey, Iwa-chan…”

“Mmmm….?”

“Thanks for this.”

“‘Course.”

The first rays of sunlight are already peeking out over the horizon before they finally climb down.

**Author's Note:**

> 'if i could grant you peace of mind, if you would let me inside your heart, that would be enough'
> 
> I'm just having some feels about these two, okay?
> 
> hopenobodyeverfindsthis on tumblr if you're interested
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated.


End file.
